if i don't get the oil changed soon

i'm fucked as a fullstop in a ditch to boot

what she sent me

moron

see the happy moron,
he doesn't give a damn
i wish i were a moron-
my god, perhaps i am!
-anon


i think there is a message for me in here somewhere...

lucky i got friends

cause man, can i be an asshole!

anyway, this one is dedicated to carina, for being my friend when i was a shit( even though, yes, it is about mortality and other sundry fait accompli )


crash orange

if i had a car i'd drive it fastfastfast yellow
off a tallcliff get the hair goinout the sidewindow carmen
like a firecrackerbutdown down flesh
i never dreamt of falling before violet
and i saw her tumble white
for the rungs were worn and blue with big spaces inbetween hungry molecules unshimmery till the movement of the falling payne
objectify the projectile tasting salty harnessed pansyblue

why the need why the need for grand finales why the slap why the finality why is it so critical to grind the truth into paste of almonds smear the bitterness over the body before the last gasps why do we have favorite colours why is air and unstop nowstop now sttttttop.. ..
........blue.stop

police at the house

well well new moon
more excitement for the neighbours
and the door was open they say
and the lights were notable
makes for good conversation arms clutched hovered waiting low

grief gutted expose

i just try to go on,because damn there is so much shit to do, dying in america, and my own bits of things i need to do, and i do, but life confuses me under the best of circumstances i don't understand the routines of daily life but they are sanity. it is dull. that is sane. so close to insane i lurch so much i never tell ( and those i do just runrunrun and i don't answer my e-mails unless i pretend to be happy) then it hits me like a wash of horror that my father died and he is ashes in a box and i just miss him so much...

hee hee

my work is done here
*big resonating echo*

holy hanna with a magic wand

i just think i actually changed a setting
perhaps even correctly...

the computer is so foreign a cubby hole
jangly bits and whirlygigs
configurational particulate matter

let's go look shall we?
clockstopper on........

the time is bugging me

whatever time is posted below
well, it's wrong
and that is driving me crazy
isn't that just so stupid
what an anal clockwatching thing to muss my melon

rambly bits

my barn doesn't even have a door, should i wish to shut it ( the thought crosses my mind ) but in briefs. ( snort, not even fucking funny ) ah yes, why have a door if you don't want to use it; why bother with that whole open/shut problem? i mean, who can make up their mind these days anyway? isn't that the postmodern triumph of blame avoidance, please sir, can i have some adult ADD, throw in the hyper for weight control and we're off to the moon, how happy a trip...please write. what? you can't? haha ah haah ahha ---- choo , perhaps some nonsedating antihistamine bought at the 24hour SDM. purple or red, caplets or gelcaps, pills or liquid, 50's or 25's, do you even have a fucking CLUE what you are putting in to your body?
does it hurt. much.

bruuuuuuuuuupety brup

dtdtdtdtdtrrrrrummmmmmmm
papapapapapapapapa pa pa pa pa PAPA PA PAPA PA! PA!
paxpaxpaxpaxpaxpaxpaxpaxpax

on kindness pertinacious

g'lad
twin it
and put one in your pocket for later perusal

starlight farsighted

brickwall/ head /feels so... you know the pastiche

what's with the heatwave? where is it? everywhere else?
what's with this timeclock? it's almost 4 am...

bedroom door

was open
now closed
never ajar! never ajar! there's a lost limb in your closet!

too stunned for a sidewalk of angry

but i think i might be
if i had the ability
in heels and eyes

time to begin the rescue at c

just because i like the c
and the c likes me
middle c me
c my brother c me and c my sister
come
c me
come
c me cry c water

i don't pretend

that anything i say is more than drivel or found object juggling.
carved, to borrow a phrase. death will do that for you.
but to take one's natural breath and neurocreative tension and then codify and box it into packaged bytes of academic parcel waving must be so stultifying; i look on amazed at the dry (yet clever to be sure) pontification and peacocking,
it's rampant.

i'm almost angry at grass for growing / post funereal apoplexy

will someone weed my garden and come hold my hand instead?

women (not knowing what else to do) make us chicken and salad and wrap in in tinfoil and ice and careful labels and directions to drive untouched nourishment all over town in a futile attempt to comfort the uncomfortable.

it's you that makes it strange

has been a big bang kind of week
or perhaps a black hole kind of weak
a way with donne
done away with
some kind of lifetime in a cartwheel overturned
entropy beats entity
time and atgiamien he'd hate the clue
(+ ash 4 acre)

wondering about inside/outside

and i guess i don't really give a shit it sucks
and that's how i felt last night

eric's boy may die tonight

he's so pretty
he's so bloody
vacant after the assault
sign the papers date by daughters skimmed
stent the numbness
of that fucking stenosis
clammy myocardium pause button got pressed clear pressed clear pressed clear at 2:35 precisely it's on the call display
he weeps and is unwilling to be a man today
the mechanism flawed untimely slab of meat rot
slip whoops
i love you, daddy
your hair is so soft tonight
under intensive care

note to self

well these really are all just notes to self, now aren't they?
endeavour to lose the pedantic nature of delivery of information. just hadn't seen people in so long, trying to crush it all into a small bit of space.
the wedding was surprisingly very nice, i try to be open to the flow of love despite the patterned behaviour of formalizing unions, and mostly that was achieved. should have gone back to the party afterwards because there were too many unfinished conversations but was too tired from the dancing. ( or too overwhelmed by the unfinished conversations, that is what happens without alcohol buffer. performance score 6/10 )
and curt really did look like a pirate.

such rapidity the fall from grace

bandages required already.
perhaps blog birth shouldn't come with immediate writing priveleges.
actually enunciation vastly inferior even to spelling.
mlrfl.
thus a new day dawns ah la la so dreamy the steam
actually hotter than it has been
going to ritualistic behaviour at 3 followed by snaps and dancing even
it's yes a white wedding
not mine or i wouldn't be here ( or perhaps i would )
avoiding things best avoided

blurp

a kind of birthing