the expulsion cartel

i failed the test so miserably
he said but you were supposed to
say this not that and i knew
after when i heard it that yes
that is what i would have wanted
to hear and i knew intrinsically
that every single thing he said
was absolutely right and in fact
even though i knew the truth
lying there actually warm and
vulnerable it was inevitable so
that i said the wrong thing stored
in the pocket dumped out with
the ticket stubs of previous
performances historical
perspective a few early curtain
calls i have always done poorly
oral examinations a form of
impropriety when the gun is
rats overboard lifeboating
so i am not sure why it's always
surprising to presume that
love should be any different


and damn if it doesn't fall like dominican
monks who apparently are very ordered
and the only one left standing is the
one who can marry my bearfoot and
i'll even change the lettering for a warrior
should i find a block of such density to
kindle the scorch of our hands and deep
kindle the hope because i'm nothing if not
hopeful and nothing if not dogged although
in some circles there is a much more
sinister term for the unrelenting
pursuit of making a better attempt
at finding a few words lost in a stack
of discarded library books carved
initials in the skin of eyelids closed
a much safer place but too empty
and the last fire burned clip bright
that the retinal flash isn't healing rub
a soon wound ventricle in ocean salt
and put the truth on the table maybe
next time explain the terrible permission
but it wasn't abuse but i guess it was
inversion of love weeping external

if
i end

vox pacis didn't
hold my
tight
arms uncontrolled

speak
i shall
listen